Matters of Life and Death....

Life and death have nearly always mystified and stupefied me…and I still think that I don’t exactly understand these 2 things completely…when I was young I always thought that death is a very very ominous word and even worse thing but I could never understand its full implications..i used to see people carrying a corpse or cremation at the distant cremation grounds which was on the roadside nearby…I used to feel goosebumps on my arms then and I saw people weeping uncontrollably..and all shatterd and destroyed…I felt real upset for them….and used to cling to my dad even more…..but it was just that for me.. when my grandpa passed away..we went there for his last rites and found everyone telling us kids not to snigger or smile in there and remain calm and quite..well that was the first shock..i mean though small we were but we atleast knew this..didn’t we?

I had this younger cousin who used to tell us about her past life when she was such a small kid…and she used to talk like a complete grown up at an age when children are not even able to speak out their name without prattling….we all were stunned..she told us everything about her house in Dehra Dun to her sons, daughter-in-law..whom she supposedly did’nt like much..her grandsons whom she loved dearly..her room location, her personal box and then her cause of death which was due to a car accident while going from dehra dun to mussorie…as the car lost control and fell off the cliff…

This further added to my disillusioned perceptions….and I was left pondering over all this…I was then too young to fathom the reincarnation theory..but I had my take on that too.in my own way

I used to wonder seriously about my previous lifetimes…I was always fantasized to listen to such stories..and even more when I saw one right in our family….i wanted to know about my previous lifetime and my family, my home, my cause of death

I truly used to think that when I will die in this birth I will write everything about my personal life on a piece of a paper and then clutch it tightly in my hand and I would still have it in my next birth…and so I would also know about this lifetime in the next…and how exciting that would be..but I had this critical mind to take care of the hurdles in the way..and that was to first create an inflammable paper. Which could survive everything…

Now I feel how silly I really was…and laugh at myself everytime I am reminded of this…

Now as I grew up my worries took an absolutely different turn..and I started to worry that if I die in between then I would have to start studying right from the very scratch and that wasn’t such a pleasant idea..i mean c’mon..we spend more than half of our live…nearly 25-28 years of life studying hard in order to enjoy our lives in future..and then comes the job part which is even more tedious…and less enjoyment..and then the family..even busier and then finally we get some time free in our old age..when we have lots of money….but we don’t have the right kind of heath to enjoy life nor the right kind of teeth left to enjoy all kinds of food…and that’s assuming you stay out of the deadly diseases like diabetes and cholesterol hi/lo BP etc….

But seriously I used to worry about it a lot…about possible ways to preserve my knowledge and brain..it is so sad that we have to start from a scratch…all over again…from A..B…C…D….and 1…2….3….4…. that’s really sad..

You wont believe that when my GRE exam headed near…I was so scared and protective concerning my head..i even wanted to wear a helmet while at my home to prevent any head injuries..major or minor..because I used to wonder that just in case if I got a head injury and I had amnesia..meri saari mehnat pe paani fir jaayega ….because all my GRE wordlist was in there which had taken months of hard work to memorize..and ratofy would go blank in one sec. ….i couldn’t bear to think about it…but thank god I stayed safe till the D-day…..

Coming back to my death and life story…well I believe that lucky ali’s song maut from kaante is kinda clear description of this unique phenomenon…

There is another world out there and its even more beautiful and free than it is in here….i dont fear death like many others who do anything to stay away from it….i know when it would come I would welcome it but I just look forward to a peaceful one atleast..not much khoon kharaba…I don’t want to die under a truck/bus/train..thats not really that peaceful and I don’t even want to be any kind of responsibility or liability on anyone..i just want to go away before I get bed ridden…but this doesn’t mean that I am looking forward to it right tomorrow..i want to live abhi filhaal ye VRS scheme is not for me….i believe that death can be very liberating..people who have near death exp. Tell fascinating stories about the world beyond this physical world….it must feel so good to shed all your weight…and the all the baggage of guilt, pain, feelings, everything and floating away to infinity…

I wonder how people cling to their lives dearly..they keep on collecting wealth until it becomes filth..i believe one should have sufficient but not excess…I still wonder what do Tata and Ambani’s do with so much of money….hmphhh..

Always screws me up…is a private jet for a gift makes you that happy than one’s one handmade handkerchief or card..which has so much love gone into its making …I fail to understand how people (for instance the govt. officials) can buy things for their family which they earn by swindling the poor and burning big holes in the pockets of the needy....do they get to have a peaceful night sleep ?..or do they have nightmares?…do they ever feel more contented than a 9 to 5 job waala hard working middle class people? Try helping a poor sometime and you’d know which content feeling I am talking of…..

Don’t they realize that we all have to leave one day and then all this wealth is useless…and all these misdeeds will have to be paid for….we wouldn’t take a single penny out of here…just our soul..but how people stay so ignorant and instead of enriching their soul they enrich and nourish their bank accounts which would be no good….one day….

Its such a simple fact but not many people realize it….its funny..how people can act so silly….life is to enjoy and to learn…now this doesn’t meant that we don’t study and just fool around..but enjoy in other ways..gathering knowledge is also a part of the wisdom acquiring process….which none can escape and even if u want to I m sure your parents wont let u do it…

But what saddens me is to see the weeping relatives, shattered family..wise people say that soul llives on its like leaving a taxi at this turning and taking a new one at the other one..the passenger remains the same..and we should not be sad because..its all in the karma…and that the soul goes up and takes care of us like a guardian angel….so if one is liberated then we should just think that he has been liberated and now he’s in peace..or maybe already in the form of a child somewhere playing in some mother’s caressing arms..and must have brought so much happiness in someone’s lives so as to brighten it up…

Birth and death are such opposites..but they are opposites because we build relation on this earth and acquire greed too…we have our liabilities and we leave them in between..infact we hardly get to live our life our way…

We come into this world because someone else sends us…we grow up as per our folks want us to..we live as per the norms of this society…which teaches us everything from love to hatred, honesty, modesty, gratitude, selflessness to be wicked, mean, haughty, arrogant, malice ….and we die may or maybe not as per our wish…where does this I fit in…its always others..guiding us….often our behavior is dictated by others too…and not by our whims…

So its but obvious for our loved ones to be upset…when one leave in between…leaving us with nothing but a void and pain to the height of numbness...

Dr. Brian Weiss’s tells us about life after death and re incarnation too in a very profound way…well lemme tell you…I believe in re incarnation, and karma and everything that may sound weird to majority people…he tells us that all our near and dear ones in this lifetime have the roots of our relation ..love or hatred in our previous lifetimes ..its like..my folks may have been my folks in previous lifetimes too..or maybe my best friend and I were sisters ….we never know…but that simply means that love stays and doesn’t die with us…we feel connected to out loved ones over many lifetimes and a group of souls re-incarnate everytime….if we start to think in this way then we would start to love them even more and stop fearing death..because this powerful demon called death is only capable of taking away our material possessions and physical body…nothing else from our heart….the love stays and grows and the bonding gets deeper everytime…even death cant destroy it…and its so sad that this love is hardly found alive in this world in present times….that too selfless love…so I guess we should try n spread love and cheer…coz that is the only thing here to stay…

It sounds so enchanting and mysterious at the same time…we spent years to nurture everything in our life..love relations, hopes, career and then in just a flip of an eyelid we are gone..and this thin line is crossed….and that weak thread is snapped and we are nothing but a clear soul remains of our whole being nurtured so carefully over so many years..its so strange yet….true…and we are scared of that momentary..pain in between..of leaving our loved ones all alone..when we wont even feel any pain, sadness as we waft up in the air to start afresh….but then life goes on….

I believe that its more important to live today…I always wake up and say thanx to god ..i confess my love to my parents and friends and tell them through gestures how much I care…because maybe tomorrow is too late…I try and cheer up the people around me and share their sorrows…I keep my temper in control and spread cheer wherever I go I like to see smiling happy faces around me…I aim for new skies everytime and head towards it with full focus and effort…and then aspire for higher skies…i dream a lot ….i don’t want to regret for anything tomorrow on my deathbed…(that’s in case I get to have one)....that I dint do a certain thing..so I live for today…and try to tell others the same too…

Kaun jaane..kal ho naa ho…ye original line hai ..trust me…it’s just a co-incidence that it’s a movie as well….