To trust or not to Trust...= To Love or not to Love...

“Don’t trust anyone”

Know something ? I get to hear this phrase more often than my own name these days..is it that the whole generation is turning into a big time misanthropist or is it just me and the people around me..is there anyone in this world who has not been touched by deceit, betrayal at any stage in his/her life..it might be easier to make sunny deol dance like hrithik than find someone like this….

But I wanna say something on this ‘trust’. I think ki we don’t trust or mistrust anyone deliberately..but after a certain point of time when we come close in any relation. We sub consciously place our trust on that person and we still think that we don’t trust him and we don’t even expect anything of him/her and even if they back stab us tomorrow we wont mind it at all…because we don’t trust him/her..but come to think of it..its a total lie and it will never happen..bcoz trust and faith come free with this package of love ...and no one can help it...

If there is any amount of truthfulness and love in that relation..there will be trust and then there would be an ever boring expectation even if it is a simple one that of the love in return…..and come what may it will hurt to be betrayed…..whenever we are betrayed we feel that pain down there…its just that some people accept it and others keep on hiding it under the shadow of their so called practical nature and insensitive heart…..but somewhere deep down they are pained and scarred and bleeding….and this is even sadder part….because they would never bring out the hurt even it pains like hell and their emotions go dry for everyone..we never forget anyone who hurts us... do we ?

no we don’t….we get to live by it or maybe forget it after a passage of time but we never forget anyone deep down…betrayal gives us a pain that none of us can ever recover from…

Try to sit for a moment and recall all those who have hurt you in your life and then see how many of them have you forgiven in the true sense…means ki do u feel pained and dislike them even today?

Trust is like a silent butterfly which comes and sits on the shoulder of love and care wherever it finds one and spreads its colorful wings and rests in peace and also gives joy to the people involved and they discover a whole new world of friendship, love, trust and many other such beautiful feelings in a very rosy picture painted infront of their eyes…

And then one day the other person silently goes out and grabs the butterfly’s wings so hard that they are powdered and crushed….and yet it may survive it dies a slow and painful death…Pain is a slow process it kills u just as a dying tree loses its every leaf..and just as that butterfly would never be able to fly ever again…the betrayed person would never recover from the shock and pain completely….

Even I have seen it..everytime I meet anyone new or go to a new place..i am reminded of my old pain and agony at the hands of others and then I try to determine myself not to get to close to anyone or to let anyone come dangerously close to me..so that later I don’t have to really feel bad about anything….but like always..i create my boundaries but they are trampled upon and then people just come in and then one day they leave just as they had come but this time they don’t trample the boundary but one more me….and they kill many more feelings within me…its an unending process.which would never stop and I too have thrown up my hands…I cant stop being good to people just because I have been stabbed by few losers in my life…

Though I am very bad at forgiving things and people..but I do try my best….if everyone in this world is so fake then why did god send us down here at all..to experience the hurt and pain.and learn what?

I recall the words from ‘Many masters, Many lives’ by Dr. Brian Weiss …in which he treats a girl by the way of past life regression therapy and she tells him about one her previous lives….out of the 82 lives she had lived till then and she says that she is meant to learn a lesson everytime god sends her on earth and in that life..she says that the lesson was to be more forgiving ..she never forgot any wrong done to her and she always carried grudges close to her heart and never let go of them and she wasn’t forgiving..which she should have been and hence she would keep taking births until she learns that…

I see myself standing in her shoes …..

What a wonderful way to teach lessons to your own kids….god tussi great ho jee…

Everywhere I look..i see people with broken hearts, betrayed in life..for trust, money, faith, love…., people losing their loved ones, people living in such drudgery that they even have forgotten that they are still alive…people ravaged by others misdeeds. Old age homes, orphanages, people who are mentally or physically challenged….

But then I also see a mother sitting on a railway platform holding her child close to her heart to keep her warm in bone chilling cold, looking contentedly with a warm glow on her poverty stricken face at her child sitting happily munching parle-g biscuits unaware of anyone around or any pain or tear..any fear or happiness..in his own world….I see a father holding the tiny hand of his daughter and crossing the road..keeping her on the safer side….i see a son pulling the wheel chair of her physically challenged n paralyzed father....i see a poor old hag sitting and fanning at her popcorn cart…all day long…to earn some money to buy medicines for her ailing husband….

I see all this ..the pain on their faces and the tears that have dried up in their eyes..but I also see the implicit faith and unmeasurable love they have in their heart…for their loved ones….this is something that we all cant see….and we choose to go blind at this point…..

We need to see into their heart a little more…to learn the basic lessons of humanity from them..that we have lost and forgotten somewhere..we all have become so hardened inside that we are unable to feel anything …our minds have started working like robots and we just don’t trust anyone…everyone has faced betrayal once in their lives and have been hurt to the extent that they may have lost their faith but what we actually need to learn is that we are not going to take any of this feelings, friends, foes, any good or bad deed along with us..not even the memories and none of this belongs to us…take it as if we all are simply students of a big class with a huge strength and we have come to this world school to learn our lessons… our parents pack our bags with all the good teachings, traditions and goodwill…..and a bottle of elixir of their love and support that we need to take in when we feel alone and weak…then we move out and get to meet so many people..see a new world…but nothing of this is ours…they are just like medium of teaching us the right way, conduct and lessons..and if some of them will teach us love, care, concern, emotions..then some of them will surely tell us about..corruption, mistrust…hopelessness, darkness….its upto us how we mould ourselves and fare in our life’s exam…whether we learn to draw the line between good or bad….we came alone and in the form of a free, transparent and pure spirit and we will go one day just like that….so better that we travel light and carry no baggage of guilt, hatred, shame, loathing when we go back….

But for all this we need to develop a impartial view and forgive those who have wronged us..and keep our faith and trust people..give them a chance…

As I am writing this post..the ‘heart beat’ theme of kal ho naa ho is serenading into my ears and I feel its so perfect and goes so well with my feelings….it is a heartbeat..that brought us into this world and one day it will only take us away…but it will depend on us..what our heart is full of at that moment….

Better be something better than hatred, mistrustfulness, impassive, insensitive heart….we need to trust..forgive and learn our lessons before the bell goes off and we all have to leave for our abode…trust me if we fail in this life exam we have to come back to give the papers again maybe in the other life….so try to trust my friend…and spread cheer, hope and laughter all the way….that's the only way to feel good….

Look within yourself often and try to decipher what your heart is saying to you..let its voice not be muffled by the voices of people around you….look within for that warmth and glow and happiness you have been seeking and you will be content all your life…..