Reality sucks and so does Ekta K....damn mahabharat

This post is a serious consequence of being denied of my weekly dose of Mtv roadies....I can't explain my urge to kick the hell out of our cable wallah..that jerk has been showing B.R.Chopra's mahabharat on his local channel..coinciding with my roadies show..and I have been obviously denied the right to watch it as my dad is an ardent fan of this serial..which he has already seen five times before...I mean I have been thinking of ways to get this thing solved..:

1. dont pay the cable wallah when he comes up next and that would result in no connection and I can hence plead for the tata sky or something....which has no local channels..thank god...
2. I could ask for a second TV which sounds a little far fetched..as of now..that i am also leaving...and my mom doesnt know shah rukh from hrithik....
3. ask raghu to shift the roadies time slot..which is again not an easy possibility...
4. buy my dad the full set of the mahabharata DVD's...which is not possible at this time..but i promise i will do it this fathers day for sure....
5. the easiest one seems like the idea of getting hold of the cable wallah n punching him hard and asking him to stop this torturing telecast....

Why the hell did i ever put that tv remote there on couch an easy target...it had been all mine had it not been for the call from my friend asking for my gre books...grrrr....cudnt she call some other time....ruined my evening....trust me i feel like i m going to a movie theater every time i feel like watching anything on TV which is so rare...but even though i watch only weekly these news channels never get transmission problems and besides it beats me to think what my dad watches in the news..i mean the newspaper is a better option and to tell you the fact these news channels can only give you a headache from khali news or a depression talking about the accidents and other less fortunate things and people and terrorism .. ..in any case i need to book my time slot from morning for the 7 p.m. show...or capture the seat and the remote from two hours before...and then too if i succeed by misake then my dad comes to ask me "beta tumhara show finish ho gaya kya?" atleast 100 times in a 60 min. show......but as nothing has worked for me today so i m sitting here and typing out my frustration....
To vent out my frustration...well what else better than using the reality shows as my punching bag...I mean hats off to the creative directors of these reality series...they have managed to cover up every age group capable of speaking or enacting their written scripts with full on melodrama...I mean next time we will be seeing the reality show on toddlers who would sing their goo-gaa-gaa-maa-moo and they would compete with each other on how fast they lap up milk from their bottles or how fast they fill their nappies...(the last one sucks..i know the nappy thing..but just because you have grown up doesnt mean you can feel pathetic about nappies...ok...not fair)
I really dont understand how people can actually fall into such traps and I have some serious grievances from the participants who know the truth about these series but still fantasize themselves to be coming out as the next amitabh bachchan and A.R. Rehman of the century with fame and money kissing their feet....i still dont know whether the first indian idol sang any more songs other than his own albums and many weddings and parties where he got free khana and photos...and so is with the rest of them..i dont even recollect their names any more...I am sure their lives are going more than normal right now...so much for that five minutes of fame..on TV...my god...few days back as i was browsing the channels to find Mtv i saw this family dance show where everyone was dressed like they were just going to prince charles wedding bash and then they started shaking and I thought that an earthquake had hit the place rocking it but it was only after some time that i realized that they were trying to dance..i mean everyone was going in their own directions..the PYT ...that is the wives had a gala time getting the best dresses and makeup man and all the attention while my heart went out to the odd 60 plus old nani's and dadi's trying to shake their arthritis affected knee and cursing everyone from their sons to the director to even the judges on the show under their breath......for their missed Blood Pressure medicine and their pathetic make up man and their gaudy/tacky dresses which hardly provide them space to breathe....and at the same time rendering their cataract worn eyes blind...one of them actually was near blind....what else could be the reason for her constant bumping against her grandson....poor thing....
Ekta kapoor - one of my favorite topic of worthless discussion....i have been thinking of suing her for mental harassment, depression, tension and visual torture ...thank god no one at my home watches her shows..but the sound of it from our neighbours TV is enough to drive me crazy....the best thing she has ever done in her life is to start her own exclusive channel that leads to a complete K-torture serials at one place and u dont have to avoid every channel just to evade her....no one frets on missing her episodes because even if you see it after a one year gap you would instantly know whats going on because nothing actually goes on in there...yeah you do get to see some latest fashion trends in the vamp makeup and dresses....and you might find it difficult to know who has recently come back from death and who is who...cmon ekta aunty this death and comeback trick abhi purani ho gayi ....try something new now..
But the news channel still top the list of the best chef in the world...kya solid pakate hain ye boss....they really make an excellent bheja fry...the recent news items on these channels will make you literally whimper, cringe and beg due to excruciating boredom...to spare us for a chance...
Khali..their latest whizkid on the block..he certainly would come to know a lot of new things about his own past if he just watched their channels daily...for which i m sure he has no time or intellect...recently i heard that..he is gonna act in movies..now thinking of his roles..well besides a sabu in a chacha chowdhary flick or maybe a dumb bodygaurd..except that he doesnt fit into any kind of picture....i mean guys he cant even spell his name ....i hope the directors are not even dreaming of giving him any dialogues....
Then I have to say that looking at the growing popularity of these pit-falling-children..for once even I was tempted to dig up a pit for myself and get into it..but as the summers approached this idea lost all the charm...I mean I am sure it would'nt be very nice sitting 50 ft down without an A.C. ...and besides i was also ready to take up my stock of bisleri to prevent dehydration....but I have suspended the plan till next winters....
well that way I would also come to know of all my well wishers...and get lots of good wishes and ashirwads from every senior citizen of this India to last me a lifetime and maybe for the next birth too...
What beats me is the fact that there are so many silly people watch these soaps and bear with all that bitching and scripted catfights and all that two inch thick make up covered ladies and gents too...and the immortal Baa and tulsi and apart from that the crooning indian idols..who are trying to imitate bryan adams in a live show in London....their nasal sounds which makes horrible listening and those glycerine tears on being voted out which ruins and smudges their two inch thick makeup and makes for tortured viewing...man how can people tolerate this all and still stay alive to vote for them..if spending your brain and precious time on this was not good enough they even spend money on them....man.....ekta kapoor should start giving out bravery awards to her channel loyal viewers....if any of them are still alive....
last night india tv news..oops gossip channel was showing a video of an alien.which they claim.....only they could get hold of..now when the whole country is having nightmares about the fuel price hike these people are trying to scare us with these godforsaken aliens..I mean who cares even if they come and dance on our heads right now...fuel prices are what we really do care about .....i mean the alien came to this earth just to say 'hello' to these india tv people peeking from their window....n then ran back just in time before they could trap and torture him with their senseless questions.....c'mon guys ..gossip hi sahi but koi toh level rakho yaar...these made up stories and touched up videos suck big time....
and in any case if you really think that what was done to me today by not letting me watch my roadies was fair or unfair you can always sms 'FAIR' OR 'UNFAIR' and your name to *420*
and one lucky winner will get to win a brand new DVD of all the episodes of ekta's serials and a full news compilation on KHALI ... and if they till survive the shock then also india tv chanel subscription absolutely free for life.....
So hurry...and try your luck (read bad luck)..our phone lines are now open and will remain open till we get atleast a single entry...and trap that person...wicked no...