An extreme guide to Big Fat Indian Wedding ….(code name : wallflower)

I have to admit....i am always in a blog mode. As I went to this wedding party tonight..i was surprised to see how I kept thinking in a blog mode…this is what you call dedication people…you get into its mood and just don’t leave it..bhagwan kare I get into my PhD mood like this and don’t get out of it for the next five years…

I should have gotten used to it by now…as it always happens with me and specially when it is least expected…today I came back late after having a nice outing with my friends and then I got this big shock that I had to go to this party with my mom…now..now..now…my dad was supposed to go for sure but at the very last moment dad ditched us and tricked me into accompanying mom…abhi ek nek, sharif aur obedient, seedhi saadhi bachchi hone ke karan I could not leave my mom alone in all this jeopardy….so bhaiyaa… hua ye finally that I had to go there…

If you have ever been a victim..oops…guest to any of the Indian parties then you’ve probably seen this sceanario more than once…n know what I am saying…so don’t read this any further….

To begin with first things..first I hate parties of any kind and specially wedding parties…I mean yaar…we entered the premises…guys at the door…made to stand to welcome guests but eventually they are making their own setting….checking out all the girls at the very point of entry.clever huh?....after you pass from their custom check there is this mass attack of all the uncles and aunties you have known since the time you wetted your nappies..okay fine..fine I will change it....hmmm..hmmm…since the time you used to lick your thumbs….and dare you not remember them ..its a crime….well I can tell you and you got to stick this sweet poster perfect smile on your face..and check your memory by recognizing the faces of every possible uncle and auntyiji present there..and whats more you even got to recall their names…omg..i mean isn’t it a big deal that we have tried to stuff..all the 20-22 years (hehe… I am not a fool to let out my age so easily so keep guessing…) of stuff, GRE word lists, MBA formulae, BTech curriculum and our own names into our already exhausted grey matters……that we are made to take up this identity test every now and then..and to top it all I really have a shorthand at remembering aunties and uncles..i only remember them if they had any super notorious kids who could even make dalai lama loose his temper and head or if they brought chocolates for us whenever they visited us…on no other grounds can I ever remember any uncles and aunties…no offence meant….i mean c’mon if we have gotten older then you too have changed a lot (read gotten old and wrinkled)

But after lots of practice I have found that one way out of this kinda sticky situation and it is simply to keep smiling and whenever they ask you nod....fevererishly and you’d be half way through…and yes if at all the name game props up then you gotta really pose like a thinking and lost Einstein and say “hmmm—yeah yeah I do remember…. you used to come to our place..and…..hmm..hmmm..” and BINGO this is it..after that they will continue…(trust me 99% this works as they had surely come down…at least once…)

Now then when you finally get off the hook comes the dinner part and that is the most scary..one ..for most of the time you simply keep worrying that someone might just spill the plate over your new dress or the little kids running confused to look for their lost mummies..might drop that ice cream on your shoes and if you are not worrying for that you are trying to make some space for yourself to get that particular kinda dish you see in other’s plate…I mean in most of the parties I have been in I haven’t taken even half the time to eat dinner that I did running around the place to get what I really want….and by the time you finally beat the crowd, heat and congestion to get it….you simply loose your appetite…I mean the guys do look a notch better and humane in their suits and all groomed…(as papa warned and mummy threatened them to finally comb their hair as they would be meeting their parents colleagues there and it was a serious matter of their ‘ghar ki izzat’) but apart from that the dire consequences of someone spilling their plate on you with all the oily food in the world in it is petrifying for me …and not to forget those painted aunties in the corner who are tryin very hard to show off their new saree they bought at exorbitant price and also every little item they bought after they met at the last party..including nail paint, sandals, chintu’s clothes, husbands tie, car etc etc etc...

Sample this:

Mrs. Gupta : arre Mrs. Irani ..where is mintoo..i cant see him anywhere around..hasnt he come today..or what?

Mrs. Irani: no no Mrs Gupta..he is right there getting an ice cream for me as I cant go anywhere near that naa…as u can see the crowd there and my expensive saree from Delhi’s neeta lulla’s store might get blotched up…

And even my sandals (showing her feet with those tacky and maybe expensive sandals on of course…) are paining a little as my beautician did my pedicure a little too hard..

Mrs. Chaddha: hey your sandals look great too? From where did you get them…?

Mrs Irani: oh they were a gift from inse from London on our last anniversary…(if you don’t get INSE..then lemme explain…there is this taboo calling out your husbans name aloud so these indian ladies have made such words as..mintoo’s daddy, ye, aey ji etc. etc..)

All their glaring, shiny, gaudy sarees and heavy makeup can be injurious to your eyes , their gibberish show off talk can lead you to brain haemorrage and their heavy perfume can leave your sense of smell numb from excess shock…

so a statuary warning ..STAY AWAY from them at every cost… *issued in public interest….*

I still believe that the worst affected are the bride and the groom…stuck up there on the stage all hungry and posing for snaps in that heat of the 100 watts bulbs and halogen lights…I mean its sad to even look at them all starved and painted exuding all that happiness and charm of a lifetime as their insides squirm in panic and starvation…for food and freedom that is bidding its last good bye to them…looking at them I feel so fortunate and relieved at the same time….

I mean how can women be so envious of each other all the time..there are around 100 married aunties lurking around and not one would go up to make the girl any wiser about the truth about marriages as she’s all set to be slaughetered ..they are all busy eating and celebrating another additional prey to their community of married women..while the girl thinks innocently that the only side effect of marriage is being qualified to be called aunty even in your 20’s….pathetic…

Then comes those mummies who only attend every party on this earth to look for their prospective daughter-in-laws and they keep x-raying every eligible girl they can lay their eyes on and tactfully getting their pics and their vital statistics and complete biodata..i mean they could have done such a beautiful job as a detective or maybe a journalist but what a waste…sniffing girls at a party for their not so eligible sons…it sucks…

They ask you questions that are just too obvious to everyone except them..

Prying Auntyji: beta you look great tonight…(first sign she likes the girl)

Poor girl (target): thank you aunty..(wondering …arre yaar..ye kaun hain)

Prying auntyiji: so whats your good name beta? (here comes the jackpot question..dont take this easy…this is to know your caste and religion…)

Target: I am Meera (hehe I will not tell you my full name..hehehe)

Prying auntyji: aur beta papa ka name kya hai? (aunty bhi chaalu hai yaar…she will not admit defeat…papa’s name again to know her caste and religion wat else..)

Poor target: Dr. Anil Sharma ( hmm…pandits …wow now she is over eligible..as auntyiji is also a pandit..and of course her idiotic son)

Prying auntyji: what are you doing these days? (this question is to assess the age and occupation and also her academic credentials…ek teer se teen nishaane…did you ever underestimate these innocuous auntyjis..then beware)

Target: nothing much I am doing my MBA from blah blah..

Prying auntyji: hmm..so who all are there at home..and what does your father do?

So it goes like this and bingo..auntyji’s mission accomplished…..and she has already made half of her mind ..then comes the parents talk and then her contacts too…poor girl knows nothing of this while she’s being set up for some unknown idiot who is maybe bunking the boring party to date her gf…

I mean ok..if he would bother to come and we could also have a peek then things would be better and we can also decide the future course…but forget it…I have realized the fact that no intellectual and sensible guys ever attend parties...

I mean this party I attended..had ‘aey ganpat….’ blaring our of its cheap loudspeakers..i mean cmon..dude…koi toh song change karo yaar…they could hire me to play songs I have definitely better choice that this..

This is not all last when I went to a bday party they had the song song ‘maut’ from kaante playing there…the kids were all so morose that they refused their cakes too…

Its high time they censor the songs they play at a gathering…

The cute innocent and decked up kids are not far behind to give you nightmares....they step on your shoes, spill their ice creams and plates on your dress and even wipe their hands on your dress mistaking you for their moms ..n then they also play hide n seek where the food is being served and on the stage too….reckless..moms…I love parties where they have these mickey mouse and other cartoon characters to keep them busy…. Such a huge relief…

in all these years i still havent figured out why does the groom come riding a horse (if at all you call that riding)..the stench of these horses is aweful...anyways...what i have come to conclude is that they want to make him feel like a prince for the first and the last time in his life...well thats very insightful of me...well none of my business..that is i know...

On the whole I really think that gatherings of any sort are a torture for me…not only I am a wallflower at such parties where there are strangers all around you and you have to fake smiles and all..man..i cant take it…I am not anti social but being a extreme social is not my cup of tea…being with friends is the best thing is this world according to me…they make anything bearable and fun…far away from these prying aunties and reckless kids out to ruin your dress all in a conspiracy….

So next time you go to any wedding party then do keep away from aunties and kids and you might enjoy your evening and take your ipod along and find a cornermost chair where no one is sitting…

The worst part is that as I write this blog I see that other card lying on the table…for next week..i am going to co-incidentally plan a movie with frends for that day for sure…if you can think of anything better to evade that then lemme know…I can always use your ideas….

Till then Enjoy your parties….

Though A Strange day.....but while I am here..lemme tell you this is me...

Nothing else seems to fit in my definition of this day which gives you confused thought about yourself, and life in general….and it is known as birth day…

Now celebrating a birth day has its own implications which i never thought of earlier.....for starters now I am more confused than being happy as to what should I feel when its my bday…I know that it’s life and it has to go on whether u like it or hate it..but with every passing year..things keep on changing with me..earlier when I was a kid I was in such a hurry to grow up ..i used to look at my sister and other elder cousins who had an opinion and knowledge about everything from buying a simple matchbox to buying family car and i was not blind to notice the amount of importance their views and advices were given….one or two times when I could really comprehend what was actually being spoken of I too tried to have my say but it was avoided to the point of being overshadowed with my age and inexperience...so I wished that one day when I would grow up..i would be given importance too…but growing up isn’t that easy…n I overlooked its other repercussions …you have to go out and face this world which isn’t the rosy picture that u paint in your inner innocent mind over years of childhood..its a cruel world out there…we all go out into the world with lots of trust and love and with the thought that we would be loved and remembered by all but as it turns out…we are left numb with its eye opening surprises and shocks of life and its only then we realize that we were so safe under the wings of our parents and in the premises of our own home..where nothing evil could touch us…our hopes and impressions are all shattered about this world and we start to lose trust..all we can have after that comes skepticism to the extent of misanthropism …we do gain experience and our opinions might begin to matter but somewhere inside we become such hardened creatures..unmoved by anything that comes our way….we face betrayals and then only we come to know the real essence of growing up ….its not all that easy….life is not that easy a cakewalk and everyone has to fall once or twice in the potholes that others set up for us on our way to this wisdom….and we learn everything the hard way….we realize that people are not as sweet as we had imagined and do what we may ..our intentions will always be misinterpreted by one or the other and there will always be people who will hate you for even if its for your goodness..bcoz though goodness may need a reason to be appreciated but hatred knows no such rules and some people always find a reason to hate others to criticize them and to bitch about them. It hurts initially to know that despite of being purely innocent there r people who will ridicule, mock, backstab and hate you..but as some more time passes..we all become inured to it and then nothing hurts whatsoever. We overcome all these trivial feelings and concentrate on other aspects..realizing at the same time that..we cant even appease ourselves completely and we all have some sort of deep regrets or unfulfilled dreams which we hide for rest of our lives and time and again justify ourselves ..so its impossible to appease and impress the whole world outside which is looking for its own chances to deprecate you and to bring you down on your knees..the sooner we realize this the better it is for us because this realization also teaches us that we can just be ourselves…and give up on all our pretences and just be pure and honest ..atleast in that way we can feel a sense of completeness and be happy about our being..n start to like ourselves…and also explore our real selves...which was hidden under that veneer of concern for this world and society....

Its my bday today but I don’t know whether to look back and feel happy or to feel sad….I feel happy that I have finally grown up and thankfully also learnt very precious lessons of life the hard way n still came out of it…

However old we may get every year but to leave your safe haven always feels bad and a little uncomfortable to all of us…..as you know you would have no to look back to.. a new place, a new environment and strangers does unnerve you a little but with a heavy heart you go ahead and take your chances and in the end you realize that it was all worth it..and has made you a little more wiser and responsible…letting go of your innocence is a huge loss in my eyes but we have to move on…

Are birth days really meant to be celebrated ? I mean in a way we are approaching near death and we are still happy about it..or are we happy that finally life is coming to its end and so are all its miseries and pains ..and shattered hopes and incomplete dreams and those torn apart relations that left deep scars somewhere inside us…

I am still not very sure whether I should feel happy that I have finally survived through so many years of my life all safe and secure with few goof ups and so many worst case scenarios, should I feel happy to have learnt my lessons well till now ..and for the broken illusions of greatness of this world...and it lovely people...or should I lament on the magnanimous loss of my innocence, my childhood and many relations which I though would last longer than they really did….should I lament for the many beautiful moments full of love, care, pranks and laughter that have been lost in the sands of time and will not come back however I may call out for them…

People will continue to be cruel to you and world will go on indifferently like this…and we will keep breathing like this ..nothing will change except us and maybe on my next birth day I would be an entirely different person.

Apart from all the happiness or sadness we may feel around us i have realized that the most important thing in life is to love oneself and make oneself respectable enough to be loved by us...and thats from where deep happiness begins..we need to first love ourselves before we try to love anyone else...we get upset when someone mocks us...and hates us..but we always forget that we are special and all those people trying to deprecate us are envious of something or the else in us...instead of begin sad we should realize that they do so because try how hard they may they will never be able to become like us and it is this fury of failure within them that drives them to all this ridiculing..but the best way is to overlook such trifling grievances and look at the bigger picture...be happy and try to spread some cheer...and that will make your life worthwhile...if you succeed in wiping even one persons. tears and help them see the light of the day..then u have accomplished your goal...in life...

Trust me nothing feels better than to gift a surprise chocolate or a candy to a street urchin and see that gratefulness on their faces and that twinkle in their eyes….or to help and old lady/gentleman to cross a busy road...try doing it sometime and u'd know what i m talking about...after all enjoy every day …who knows kal kya ho yaar…

life is too short for hating others..so forgive n forget those who hate you coz u will keep brooding like this about them and even worse to please them and then the next mornign you will open your eyes and see that you are 90 and bedridden...dont give this society a damn because they will always snub you for something or the other...reach out to whatever your heart desires and always remember your basic ethics and principles...coz integrity is the foundation of all big achievements....let go of all the hatred and the people who hate you as well and look at life from a new angle and you'd see how beautiful life is and how fair are god's ways....

god's love and light can only touch a pure heart...so purify yourselves ...and love yourselves...

Enjoy day of your life and try to minimize your shortcomings…start smiling..and spread some cheer around..never stop dreaming.. and be positive….thats life..and so it should always be….keep your faith because that is the foundation of any relation in this world..whether it be with god or your earthly acquaintances….

Self exploration is the hardest thing to do but i m on to it...and by my next bday i would make a headway into it even further.....but till then i will try and live every day to the fullest.... till then ciao...

PhD= Piled Higher and Deeper...arre toh Pehle kyun nai bataya....??

Some gyani on Orkut dictionary has rightly said PhD stands for Piled Higher and Deeper...and I could not agree more.. ..today morning as i stood looking at myself in the mirror..i was so painfully brought back to the reality..of starting my Phd ..i mean looking at my chirpy and happy-go-lucky n cool kinda image that i have adorned for years now.... i never feel as if i will ever fit into that nerdy, studious and no nonsense only studies kinda persona..its too heavy for me yaar....when I was young i used to take phd as nothing less than a stigma which literally kills your happiness and murders your overall personality by crushing it under the heavy tome of books and research papers...i mean look at this word research..trust me it sounds funny to me..Re-Search..i mean what is the point in re- searching something when it has already been searched...beats me to it...thats why these poor scientists are so confused..like i already have the first absolute sign of a good scientist...thats my confusion...
There is no denying the fact that i have loved every moment after I received my admit letter/letters from US of A...I was so elated about going to Amrikka that I almost forgot the second part and that was the most vital one..and it read PhD. In the mean while my parents were partying at the very thought of their darling daughter going for a PhD.It only occurred to me after few weeks of of my vacation on the eleventh cloud...in any case I am still little overjoyed at the prospect of going to AMrikkaaa...well Phd toh hoti hi rahegi..

.i feel that it would have been so much easier to discover new things in the earlier times..i mean..you keep sitting under an apple tree and a falling apple leads you to a discovery...sounds great to me...but whenever i have tried to develop my critical thinking skill at times..whatever i found novel was already patented by someone else years before..So i have begun to feel that either i have come in very late into this world when all the mysteries of existence have been solved or that my critical thinking skills are too low a stage to be reclaimed critical at all......I am all the more worried about my mentor...who should be saying his last prayers had he known me that well...i mean when everything has been researched upon then what am i doing going into this...
I have to admit that I have been into some serious research ( see this is the first symptom of PhD Patient ..frequently using ..term 'Research' even if referring to have found a pin on the couch) on America...well so much that I could give some serious competition to Mr. Obama...or maybe the best travel agent of America....I have a fairly good idea of the malls, Amusement parks and rivers and beaches and the routes and roads and trains and flights to the good worthwhile destinations of Amrikkaaa...including Disneyland...the other day my dad wanted to know whether i have still checked out the class schedule and the syllabus and i was suddenly looking haywire like some idiot who has suddenly got amnesia and no more know the meaning of syllabus and classes....my dad was not so pleased.....and my sister nearly fainted when she heard that I was giving due thought to another admit from a univ. in Kansas state...as according to her it lies in the central Low lands with no beaches and good places around...then I had to convince her that no I was not going to Kansas and she can breath in peace....man seems like i am going for a five year long vacation instead of Phd....good lord..what has this generation come to..? she was even against applying to any such univ. where there werent enough good tourist places...as it meant a serious setback to our plans of world tour...with my family...after i get there...but i somehow managed to apply because she had to leave for her univ. in between...
I went to a research lab last week to face the bitter facts of my upcoming life and to have a tryst with the lab work and its captives....now having your parents in research does have its own set of perks firstly, you dont have to stick to the drab, dull, and boring dressing style and I went there almost dressed as if I was already in America...if you haven't been to a lab then lemme tell you wearing colorful and funky t-shirts and jeans is almost a taboo till date ..you need to look the role..with colorless clothes which have to be ill fitting and if you have a thick frame dadaji waala specs on your eyes then you are a perfect fit for the lab and the obvious pride of any mentor..n means a direct entry into the institute...otherwise even the guard at the main gate will ask you hundred questions and scan you before letting you in. like they always do to me unless i m accompanying my parents....(hopeless guards.....hats off to their short term memories)...now the first thing that really grabs my attention is the faded, dull and off-colored painted buildings looking at which seems like community people got it painted with the charity money..and did a huge favor for it...or like the neighboring buildings all conspired against it so that they could outshine it any time......and the interiors which constitute of nothing more than apparatuses, instruments and no wonder the wallpaper is made of the numerous publications that you have earned over years...and it completely depends on you how well you can cover those off white walls with your published works....i knew all this and hence i wore my usual bright colored clothes to keep up my liveliness through all this trust me and everyone stared at me as if someone had just ruined there last experiment setup and most probably it was me.....but the moment they come to know my dad is a hotshot scientist there...they seemed so amiable and warm at once.....and if they knew that i was the one going to USA...they would shower all their courtesies on you plus invitations to lunches to educate their kids for GRE n TOEFL n all....man... what hypocrisy...after the image thing well the lab experience was just as boring as any Subhash Ghai's movie which seems to go nowhere and leads you to NIMHANS in case you survive the whole movie...but i have to say that there is one big difference in his movie and in research labs..at least you get to see good faces in his movie like Hrithik and all...but if you even by any chance expect that in a lab then my friend you are sadly, seriously and depressingly mistaken...well every time there was a knock at the lab's door i didnt even care to bother my muscles and turn around..because it had to be someone past their primes and no TDH guys from hollywood or daniel steele novels...i mean a lab is not a place for a person who appreciates beauty of any kind...trust me on this...
thats when i realize what serious research is all about...though there were some young guys and girls there..who were trainees there but looking at them made me feel as if they were returning from some 'namesake noon show' or they were dumped by their respective girlfriends and boyfriends for someone better than them...n i dont blame them for this dumping act...
I am glad for one thing in my life that even for research then I am off from here where atleast there is no specific dress code and even facial expression code..you are supposed to literally whisper in a lab and always talk science and have to look serious....otherwise you are not good enough...and the center might cancel your fellowship too...in case you even look light hearted....or non serious types...and plus in case you are infront of a computer you gotta always look for research papers and not enrique's n rihanna's latest songs download as I always do without fail ....
Well having said enough I have to say atleast I have this one charm of going to America and i just hope that the researchers and trainees out there are a little cool, funky and alive....
Keeping my fingers crossed..and with this i gotta sign out...as right now i can see my books kneeling, cringing and begging for my little attention which they hardly get these days....i guess i should oblige them for now..before ramlal* finds his way to them...
so my dear books..here I come... :)

Ramlal* : in case you don't know...ramlal is my cute little fellow rat who comes on a flying visit to our house at times...in order to find something worthwhile to nibble...and to give some exercise to our neighbor's fat n lazy n good for nothing cat...

Reality sucks and so does Ekta K....damn mahabharat

This post is a serious consequence of being denied of my weekly dose of Mtv roadies....I can't explain my urge to kick the hell out of our cable wallah..that jerk has been showing B.R.Chopra's mahabharat on his local channel..coinciding with my roadies show..and I have been obviously denied the right to watch it as my dad is an ardent fan of this serial..which he has already seen five times before...I mean I have been thinking of ways to get this thing solved..:

1. dont pay the cable wallah when he comes up next and that would result in no connection and I can hence plead for the tata sky or something....which has no local channels..thank god...
2. I could ask for a second TV which sounds a little far fetched..as of now..that i am also leaving...and my mom doesnt know shah rukh from hrithik....
3. ask raghu to shift the roadies time slot..which is again not an easy possibility...
4. buy my dad the full set of the mahabharata DVD's...which is not possible at this time..but i promise i will do it this fathers day for sure....
5. the easiest one seems like the idea of getting hold of the cable wallah n punching him hard and asking him to stop this torturing telecast....

Why the hell did i ever put that tv remote there on couch an easy target...it had been all mine had it not been for the call from my friend asking for my gre books...grrrr....cudnt she call some other time....ruined my evening....trust me i feel like i m going to a movie theater every time i feel like watching anything on TV which is so rare...but even though i watch only weekly these news channels never get transmission problems and besides it beats me to think what my dad watches in the news..i mean the newspaper is a better option and to tell you the fact these news channels can only give you a headache from khali news or a depression talking about the accidents and other less fortunate things and people and terrorism .. ..in any case i need to book my time slot from morning for the 7 p.m. show...or capture the seat and the remote from two hours before...and then too if i succeed by misake then my dad comes to ask me "beta tumhara show finish ho gaya kya?" atleast 100 times in a 60 min. show......but as nothing has worked for me today so i m sitting here and typing out my frustration....
To vent out my frustration...well what else better than using the reality shows as my punching bag...I mean hats off to the creative directors of these reality series...they have managed to cover up every age group capable of speaking or enacting their written scripts with full on melodrama...I mean next time we will be seeing the reality show on toddlers who would sing their goo-gaa-gaa-maa-moo and they would compete with each other on how fast they lap up milk from their bottles or how fast they fill their nappies...(the last one sucks..i know the nappy thing..but just because you have grown up doesnt mean you can feel pathetic about nappies...ok...not fair)
I really dont understand how people can actually fall into such traps and I have some serious grievances from the participants who know the truth about these series but still fantasize themselves to be coming out as the next amitabh bachchan and A.R. Rehman of the century with fame and money kissing their feet....i still dont know whether the first indian idol sang any more songs other than his own albums and many weddings and parties where he got free khana and photos...and so is with the rest of them..i dont even recollect their names any more...I am sure their lives are going more than normal right now...so much for that five minutes of fame..on TV...my god...few days back as i was browsing the channels to find Mtv i saw this family dance show where everyone was dressed like they were just going to prince charles wedding bash and then they started shaking and I thought that an earthquake had hit the place rocking it but it was only after some time that i realized that they were trying to dance..i mean everyone was going in their own directions..the PYT ...that is the wives had a gala time getting the best dresses and makeup man and all the attention while my heart went out to the odd 60 plus old nani's and dadi's trying to shake their arthritis affected knee and cursing everyone from their sons to the director to even the judges on the show under their breath......for their missed Blood Pressure medicine and their pathetic make up man and their gaudy/tacky dresses which hardly provide them space to breathe....and at the same time rendering their cataract worn eyes blind...one of them actually was near blind....what else could be the reason for her constant bumping against her grandson....poor thing....
Ekta kapoor - one of my favorite topic of worthless discussion....i have been thinking of suing her for mental harassment, depression, tension and visual torture ...thank god no one at my home watches her shows..but the sound of it from our neighbours TV is enough to drive me crazy....the best thing she has ever done in her life is to start her own exclusive channel that leads to a complete K-torture serials at one place and u dont have to avoid every channel just to evade her....no one frets on missing her episodes because even if you see it after a one year gap you would instantly know whats going on because nothing actually goes on in there...yeah you do get to see some latest fashion trends in the vamp makeup and dresses....and you might find it difficult to know who has recently come back from death and who is who...cmon ekta aunty this death and comeback trick abhi purani ho gayi ....try something new now..
But the news channel still top the list of the best chef in the world...kya solid pakate hain ye boss....they really make an excellent bheja fry...the recent news items on these channels will make you literally whimper, cringe and beg due to excruciating boredom...to spare us for a chance...
Khali..their latest whizkid on the block..he certainly would come to know a lot of new things about his own past if he just watched their channels daily...for which i m sure he has no time or intellect...recently i heard that..he is gonna act in movies..now thinking of his roles..well besides a sabu in a chacha chowdhary flick or maybe a dumb bodygaurd..except that he doesnt fit into any kind of picture....i mean guys he cant even spell his name ....i hope the directors are not even dreaming of giving him any dialogues....
Then I have to say that looking at the growing popularity of these pit-falling-children..for once even I was tempted to dig up a pit for myself and get into it..but as the summers approached this idea lost all the charm...I mean I am sure it would'nt be very nice sitting 50 ft down without an A.C. ...and besides i was also ready to take up my stock of bisleri to prevent dehydration....but I have suspended the plan till next winters....
well that way I would also come to know of all my well wishers...and get lots of good wishes and ashirwads from every senior citizen of this India to last me a lifetime and maybe for the next birth too...
What beats me is the fact that there are so many silly people watch these soaps and bear with all that bitching and scripted catfights and all that two inch thick make up covered ladies and gents too...and the immortal Baa and tulsi and apart from that the crooning indian idols..who are trying to imitate bryan adams in a live show in London....their nasal sounds which makes horrible listening and those glycerine tears on being voted out which ruins and smudges their two inch thick makeup and makes for tortured viewing...man how can people tolerate this all and still stay alive to vote for them..if spending your brain and precious time on this was not good enough they even spend money on them....man.....ekta kapoor should start giving out bravery awards to her channel loyal viewers....if any of them are still alive....
last night india tv news..oops gossip channel was showing a video of an alien.which they claim.....only they could get hold of..now when the whole country is having nightmares about the fuel price hike these people are trying to scare us with these godforsaken aliens..I mean who cares even if they come and dance on our heads right now...fuel prices are what we really do care about .....i mean the alien came to this earth just to say 'hello' to these india tv people peeking from their window....n then ran back just in time before they could trap and torture him with their senseless questions.....c'mon guys ..gossip hi sahi but koi toh level rakho yaar...these made up stories and touched up videos suck big time....
and in any case if you really think that what was done to me today by not letting me watch my roadies was fair or unfair you can always sms 'FAIR' OR 'UNFAIR' and your name to *420*
and one lucky winner will get to win a brand new DVD of all the episodes of ekta's serials and a full news compilation on KHALI ... and if they till survive the shock then also india tv chanel subscription absolutely free for life.....
So hurry...and try your luck (read bad luck)..our phone lines are now open and will remain open till we get atleast a single entry...and trap that person...wicked no...

Concerning the previous post title...

Well its not that I could not write this in the first post but I am not exactly Jagdish Gandhi who would go on killing people of damn boredom shooting from my drowsy blogs....Neither am I some ved vyas or kalidas writing some epics ki I have to write such long posts...I can only write what I can actually sit and read peacefully and not criticize and abuse the author for the painful length killing and otherwise interesting article...now... this shows my great understanding of human psychology.....
Now I was so much concerned about my previous post title...'hmm..thinking of my topic' which seriously suffers from every possible symptom of confusion and screwed up syndrome...I mean its not for the first time this is happening to me ...in fact I am such a tyro at confusion that sometime I even confuse people around me and they really cant make out whether they really feel that they are some super duper screwed up scientist from somewhere who doesnt know what he is looking for after looking for it for last ten years and after having written tomes about that 'thing' he is looking for.....and on top of that if you ask him after those ten years of re-search..he would stand up and scratch his white mane...(provided he has any hair left after so much of scratching) and look at you as if you as if you have just landed from mars....
In fact till i was 14 I was still confused whether or not my parents picked me up from cycle stand infront of the hospital..as my sister always told me..i mean she took full advantage of my innocence ()read confusion) since childhood and the fact that no one ever said that i resembled any of my close family members......thanx to my numerous relatives who have since then testified against this false allegation...and instilled my faith in the family system..in fact to pacify me then they even sat together and tried to play match the following with my facial features with my Paternal and maternal aunts and uncles and it seemed like I was made by severely confusion afflicted creator who picked one feature from everyone of my living or dead relatives and put the pieces together in a haste ..and resulted in a jigsaw puzzle with nose like my bua and eyes like my nani and forehead and ears like my mausi and rest from the remaining ones....actually what pained me was not that my sister used to tease me with her conjured up ' picking-up-thing-from-cycle-stand' theory as i considered myself lucky to be the one picked up and living in such luxury...and not even with the fact i didnt resemble any of my parents...but I was more annoyed with the cycle stand angle...had she said car stand i would have lived my earlier years of my life in much more peace and not behaving like some public litigation lawyer always asking my relatives and parents to stand up and testify in my favor...
anyways done with that and won the case as well as it turned out that my sister had done all this in order to seriously tease me...infact jealousy....as i was the latest bundle of joy for my parents and took away all the spotlight from my dear sister...
Back in my hostel I was always confused about what to wear to college...and as a result i imitated others to iron my t-shirt at night itself so that I could arrange for 10 more minutes of sleep in the rush morning hours and then when my friend walked out of room to brush i was ironing another one and when i finally got ready i was wearing something entirely new from the previous two and my friends were like seriously irritated....I mean you call this a free country where one cant even change ones clothes without inviting comments from ones friends....sometime there needed to be a fourth replacement as well...
My stories of grand confusion does not end here...as i have even confused with people ending up in such goofed up situations..that my companions chickened out ashamed of my confused intelligence and often refused to acknowledge me as their friend or even acquaintance....once i confused my college student to a 'bhaiyyaji' of our small co-operative store in the campus and one more time when i took another one to be the ice cream vendor .....but in both the cases it wasn't entirely my fault as both of them completely looked the part and besides proctors repeated warnings were not wearing their id cards that was their only proof of being qualified as students...apart from their disheveled and unkempt looks.....and secondly I never really got what the first guy was doing behind the counter and the other one sitting and relaxing one the vendors cycle seat...

In fact as I write this down I actually realize how much severely has this confusion syndrome affected me in my life and i suddenly thinking of any doctor who cures this confusion....i hope this is not a degenerative disease that gets worse with age..because ten years down the lane i dont really want to be confusing my neighbors life-partner to be mine nor i actually want to imagine a scene where I take couple of my niece n nephews to a nearby park and return with an entirely new set of kids (meaning someone else's kids...) I dont really think such a situation is going to be any prettier..so I need to do something about this urgently....everyone and anyone who thinks that I need urgent treatment..can lemme know and your suggestions would be highly valued and welcome just like the holiday homework for summer vacations....

Hmm..thinking of my topic...

Now, that I am first time blogger...well not exactly because i deleted my previous blog because..I myself hated it and it didnt qualify for a blog in the first place...and secondly I think I didnt want anyone to read what I wrote in it.....Now.... Now...Now.. rather than trying to conjure what possibly could have been there in my deleted blog i guess it would be better if dear reader you please concentrate on the present entry so that I can know whether it is good enough or not...
First glance at this blog and you would guess easily without any hints that its a girl author penning it down..I still don't really know why i chose this cute rosy pink template for my blog. I did'nt choose black because I don't want to pen down my beautiful life experiences in the shadows of dark( how profound was that...). And no that total ujala white doesn't go down too well with me....and besides i didn't wan tit to look like a memo of peace on a white piece of paper from Osamaji to our PM (manmohan ji or soniya ji ..cant really say who is it...and besides if I tell you everything where from will you get your daily brain twisters to reflex your brain muscles)

Though, I have been always ridiculed for my bent towards pink..I still dont believe that out of the 20 jumpers and sweat shirts I bought for myself from varied sales majority are a variation of the shade of pink also my shoes and my towels and bedsheets.....(Normally i dont get to buy 20 jumpers at a time but going abroad for your studies on a scholarship comes with its own perks...trust me).....Lately my mausi pointed it out to me that I had purchased nothing but Pink in majority...just like the Behenji's majority votes in Uttar Pradesh general elections.(stop re-reading the behenji part..now don't tell me that you are not aware who behenji is ?...well then she is our revered CM..Ms. Mayawati) ...and the other day my little cousin and my dear friend again pointed out to me quite painfully that I have but too many of those pink T-shirts in my collection....now all I am short of is a pink trousers...like the one which Govinda or maybe Salman wore or maybe both wear (Now I know for sure that you know who they are..pathetic G.K. yaar...) and my dad and mom sneer at me everytime I gape at a pink chevrolet going down the road and my eyes chase it till it disappears from sight...and recently they have even violently opposed my proposition of buying one of these cute cars.... I still cant forget how they opposed my innocent proposal like some act supporting dowry in Lok Sabha.... Strange are the ways of parents at times....

Coming back to my template color...I am still not sure whether to go ahead with the same color or to change it..
I have never quite understood why people call pink color as so feminine..but still I feel proud of the middle aged uncles whose wife's dominance in household matters forced them to buy the pink chevrolet which they were forced to drive in open public view as if they were being punished for sleeping late on sundays ...by their respective wives..or maybe denying them their credit card for shopping.....nevertheless i feel sorry for all you uncles at the same time who are trying to sink down into their driving seats so that their neighbor wouldn't see them or maybe their neighbor's wife...you can never be so sure.... not to forget those desperate brothers who have to go out on a date and they have no conveyance of their own..and have to barely manage with their sis's pink scooty which could be due to two reasons...
1. their sisters scored a higher percentage in their exams and mummy daddy just couldn't refuse her that cute pink two wheeler...
2. they are the typical mumma's boy who just couldn't muster enough courage to ask for a bike of their own and had to use their mummy's pink scooty in return of all the goodness...
I am sure they must be cursing the manufacturers...for the color pink of a scooty...
and poor domestic helps who are anyways tortured to run errands on their chhoti memsaab's pink ladybird with a sweet basket in the front... well sorry guys you have no other option than that...
But come what may my sympathies go out with all these above mentioned people and talking of actual sympathies then I have a confession to make...
I want to tell you that till date I considered myself as quite a good speller and a GRE qualifier at that too..and others even regard me highly for that ..specially my colony children who think that their NEW favorite didi is going to get them chocolates all the way from Amrikaa..well children are so innocent....but the amount of red jagged lines I see on this page under the words really puts my GRE score report to shame...Had it not been for the automatic spelling checker then maybe even I would not have been able to understand what I wrote when I logged in tomorrow night...I feel so bad about it...but one has to admit her faults and that is from where modesty begins and if you are trying to go up again and re read the trash to catch my spelling mistakes then lemme tell you that its a waste of time because I have already rectified my spelling mistakes with the help of the prompt spellings that this writing software gives me in the popping window....hehehe...so read further if you have survived the severe blow of my drowsy blog till this point...
I wonder how much could I write about my cutie shweetie Pink...I wonder if I should become the official ambassador of pink color for India where this color is highly underrated and under respected except by our Behenji who's favorite color is pink and believe it or not her bday bash had everything done in pink ..from her expensive pink gemstone necklace, to her suit , to her footwear and to her cake and all the confetti and streamers...and also the cutlery was bought in pink...but her cabinet officials did feel the blues after seeing the bills of her bday later... ..(hmm..well I am not too sure whether under respected is any legally approved word in oxford dictionary )..waise come to think of it who says that under respected cant be a word who approves or disapproves all this..even if i translate hindi directly into english and say slowly-slowly instead of dheere dheere..then who can question me for it.... tell me...

But apart from all this please forgive all my apostrophes and spellings and wrong grammar...and the hopeless ones for which even this auto error detect software could not fine a replacement.....I will try to improve on it but till then please be patient with my English or maybe Hinglish or maybe no english at all...
god bless the girl/guy who made this software with auto spell detect...

When I am already on to it then i really gotta think about this title of my blog..My life through my eyes...if you give it a thought..I just wanted to stick to the word life because you believe it or not the sole usage of this four letter word gives any article a lot of weight and gravity and a feeling of profundity ..even though your blog may not use this word in the very first blog written under it.....but thinking of the title as I could not think what else could be written and Life was too short just in itself and more importantly the blogsite would just not leave this word in the available slots...(everyone before me has gotten away with the easiest title..hmmphhh...) so I thought why not see 'through my eyes' primarily because no one else is interested in looking at or into my life at all and why should anyone be..my life is not some distant hidden planet revolving space which is madly looked for by every precious white haired scientist at NASA...but to tell you the truth the title is making lesser and lesser sense to me with every passing moment...even a Kindergarten student can suggest me a better name..but I dont have any cousins or neighbors from KG who could help me out so I have to go with this for the time being...if you have any better ideas then they are more than welcome....