Letting go....

I have got a lot to say, a lot on my mind,
but the words wont come out
they clog my mind till the heart chokes
tears dont come,
memories do
feel numb with confusion
feel no pain, but keep scourging deeper
dont know which way to go,
what road to tread
to avoid what's been repeated countless times
i keep on asking myself and at times to others but no one understands and no one knows...what its like..is it so easy to give up and give in, should i just go with the flow or take the harder route that my mind keeps on pushing me on to or should i just start living with it and forget the rest...tomorrow and future beyond ..would that help?
i m clueless in dark..fumbling around feeling my way out of this...feels like ..something that i cant put in words..but i think for now i should just listen to my mind and shun my heart...coz i dont know what this would be like, hurting someone mid way or wait till the very end when you can actually see everything to believe it or just read the signs and work on it before it gets worse...lose something based on the signs.what if the signs are wrong..what if the light i see is just fake...what if i am left stranded in the middle of nowhere..al by myself...i dont know..anything...but for now..i should let go...let go...
random thoughts ..maybe i m thinking aloud..just like that..after having a overflow of emotions due to some random emotional flick...whatever it is...i just wrote it...bcoz i felt like it...