Saying goodbye....

Sometimes you feel such a void when someone has left..the silence is eerie and gets intolerable too after a while..How important it is to have good friends and companionship, i realized that only after I came here...all by myself. unaware of anything that went on here...far away from home, family, friends and the people i loved...it was hard...but I was getting the independence i always wanted..to be on my own to have my own experiences. While going for my roomies here, i did not give any priorities and i wanted to take whatever comes my way, without any prejudice. After 10 months, I am so glad about my decision then, it couldnt have been better. I know I was one of those lucky ones who got such supportive and caring roomies. They were all senior to me, yes i was pampered and loved and also bossed around..at times. which i tried to take in stride. They were like my own sister and they held my hand and taught me the new ways of life, which i was apprehensive but excited to learn about. They taught me new stuff..about the lifestyle, people, cuisines...and life in general. It has been so great all throughout and i never realized that 10 months had gone by.
Whenever I needed someone to tell my days exciting events or about the stupid casanovas they were always around to lend me their ears and their advice too on how to deal with them. When I had to go early for class or lab they were my alarm clock and my morning coffee when i studied early morning for my exams, they made my wake up coffee for me...they were my source of encouragement when I was down or worried about my exams and studies and deadlines. They never let me go to bed empty stomach, being the lazy bum I am (only for cooking) I could never manage my work and life so as to find time for cooking esp and ended up having cereal and bread at night too for dinner, but they were always there with some nice hot veggie food. they took care where I was if i was too late at work or at a party and they got all worried about me, they always came in to ask me wehn i had a 'do not disturb' sign on my door. they were always there for me and then i grew up and started to know the ways of life here in a new place..which started to seem more friendly to me. Being from different countries and speaking a different tongue never brought any kind of barriers between us. we could read each others feelings. we joked and laughed and at times bitched too about some of our common enemies, discussed issues..had our fun time....they have been taking care of me here like their own and they touched me with their kindness and concern. I would have been so lost without them, and today one of them moved out and the other one would be gone soon. I dont know if I would be fine then..or not but one thing that i know about is that I am going to miss them like hell. it is a painful process to see someone wrap up and packup for finally leaving....there is a strange silence in this apartment today...and i already hate it...
I know it is hard to say goodbye and one more thing that i know is that if you find people in your life who could bring tears in your eyes and a shadow on your heart when they leave..and if you feel it is hard to bid goodbye..then you have achieved something..i dont know if they would ever read this post..but D and N I am going to miss you guys...you have touched my heart and my life with all your loving and caring gestures and I would love to hear from you again....hope you dont forget me.... :)
take care...good luck...and remember it is not a good bye after all..

Do I need that?

The other day I was thinking about my buying habits. okay okay...so this wasnt the case entirely. I was actually so damn tempted to buy this thing online and I was trying to hold back. I have been going to get my weekly or maybe fortnightly groceries and then I am so tempted by the stupid things which make no sense in any way at all to be bought and then I go to buy yoghurt and then the check out lady gives me a heart attack by telling me that my sum total is 100 bucks (mind you in dollars) and I just keep on wodering where did i spend all that money..I am aweful at handling my expenses, even before you say it, I eve tried to leave my wallet at home so that i dont buy stuff that i dont need, but that also dint help, reason being, I ask my flatmates to buy the stuff for me so that i can pay them back and the situation remained just as worse and nothing improved, the only thing that actually changed was my checkbook's pages and my atm statements, thats it. so the thing was that nothing improved and the hole in my pocket kept on getting bigger and bigger. So finally i started minimizing my errands to the shopping malls, but then I am a human bing after all and i need to get stuff for my survival. Trust me, half of the time I shop with my flatmate, who is even a worse case than me, I know it is harder to beleive, but yes she is, she keeps on buying stuff and that goes continously being pushed back into the backened of her fridge and the freezer and the only time she is actually reminded of them is when it has gone bad and it starts to stink or maybe develop some microbial growth, by the way while I am on this topic, let me tell you that apart from the dull blue green fungus, there is another species of fungus, of pink and purple color, I dint know tis befire coming here. And when I told my cousin about this thing, he told me that there is another kind of fungus prevalent which is purple in color and it is found in Europe, and he beleives that the fungus is maybe GAY. well, this topic is kinda censored so lets stop this gross discussion. eugh...
anyways..watch what you eat...Indian fungus needs more colors.for sure..
so the thing was that half of the shopping time, I and my flatmate ended up draggin each other form the aisle, where there was all the un needed, useless stuff in the world.
So after all the options I tried, I tried the last option and guess what i tried was finally this...it was no big measure, but just a simple technique and it was a small question, "Do I need this?" and then I thought of all the possible sceanarios where I could or couldnt need the stuff and then i weighed the options ( think how smart I am! :) )and finally I decided whether I should or not buy it. trust me this works big time, as ever since I have stopped myself from buying :
a new apple ipod (when I have an ipod shuffle, a sony discman and a sansa player)
a wireless mouse
a set of speakers, (when I have the stereo bluetooth headphones, bought an year ago)
A new set of cushions for my bed
another lamp (not needed at all, I have one already)
a video cam (my cam already have a brillaint video cam)
a new set of snuggies
a new set of glares
etc etc...
the list is endless...
anyways this works and it has prevented many a tragedies with my wallet and credit card. and it is smiling right now. So you can imagine that everything is going great. so the message is loud and clear, please ask youself this question before youa ctually buy something and this is coming from a very experienced shopaholic (again proves how wise I am ) so this post goes to a higher level I think, concerning the maturity level and a better understanding for my psyche that deals with my shopping needs.
have fun shoppping till the next post.
cheers...